Sunday, July 03, 2005

AMERICANS-DON'T-READ-THE-NEWSPAPER DAY

Well, it's here again, the principle holiday for the national delusion. And in the spirit of the holiday and all that it entails, I'll be bringing you my continuing coverage of whatever New Brunswick, New Jersey has to offer us on this Independence Day.

You have no idea how hard it was to right the "I" word. We have about as much freedom as the Weimar Republic and it's only getting worse.

First on the docket, at the not-quite-Independence-Day hour of 11:20 eastern standard time, they're lighting off fireworks. This is nothing special, as the same yahoos light them off at about this time every Sunday, along with most Saturdays, Fridays, Thursdays and randomly throughout the rest of the week. I assure you that I'm not embellishing in the slightest.

That's what this reporter's observation on the holiday stands at: It's an excuse. It's just another reason to gorge ourselves on barbecue, light off fireworks, and drink ourselves into a stupor while celebrating an ideal that we only casually understand and even less diligently protect.

For those of you out there who aren't familiar with New Brunswick, NJ, let me fill you in. It's the home of Rutgers University, one of the best state schools in the country (and my alma mater, too, if you care about that shit). It's also home to the world headquarters for Johnson & Johnson. Our mayor is a hero by New Jersey standards, only because he manages to be slightly less obvious in his corruption than the other New Jersey politicians. This depends a bit on your knowledge of New Jersey politics, but take me at my word, it's saying very little. If you ever want to fill yourself in, google "New Jersey", "Mayor" and "corruption". It's an entertaining list.

In short, this is a corrupt state, a mindless, indifferent place filled with equal parts city dwellers and suburbanites. And in the tradition of my loathing for those self-aggrandizing, deluded, isolated fools that live in the 'burbs, I'm going out tomorrow to watch whatever of their wayward, celebrating children are up to. They're already starting now, and we still have a half-hour to go. Beer, explosives, fights, it's going to be great. The revelry of deluded college students convinced that they're future is secured, despite the facts, the lessons, and all the higher education that exorbitant debt can buy. And maybe, just maybe, I just might see some titty.

And you will see it with me.

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