The Mediated Man

2010-04-16T17:30:00.000-05:00

This blog has moved to:

http://mediatedman.wordpress.com.

C.H. Bagen Gallery

2009-05-13T13:05:00.000-05:00

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RNC Hoedown

2008-09-04T19:35:00.000-05:00

Watching the RNC on mute. Republicans can't dance. Line dancing suddenly makes sense...if you want to call it that.

Head Split Open, Thoughts Leaking Out

2008-09-03T10:47:00.000-05:00

It's now day 3 with this splitting migraine fucking headache. Rusty nails behind the eyes. My pulse becomes the enemy whenever I run across the street. Can't think. Can't sleep. Can't work. Best of all, I'm going to get my teeth drilled tomorrow. So if by some miracle this sensation of industrious midgets beneath the skull goes away by tonight, that's what I have to look forward too tomorrow.

Solamen Miseris...

2008-08-22T21:57:00.000-05:00

For those who ask, since there's been quite a few of you. There is only one thing I know of that could ever start me drinking: the reincarnation of Dorothy Parker. Somehow, I'm still fairly confident it's going to happen one of these days. How do I know? It's difficult to pin down. I suppose it's this visceral knowledge that the planet isn't going to let me die without first making a drunk out of me. Every time I sit down to work I can hear Ernest Hemmingway cursing.

Happy birthday, you crazy old bitch. The world of wit misses you.

The Perils of Aging (continued)

2008-06-03T18:54:00.000-05:00

Alright, I can't stop thinking about it. This is pissing me off something horrid, this Millennial crap. My generation has been insulted for being too independent. Mind you, it's the Boomers doing it. They had a ball all through the sixties, seventies and eighties, cursing authority (as one should) and "freeing their minds". Now they're the ones in charge and they can't stand, just can't tolerate that our generation 1) won't pay their bills for them 2) Isn't going to blindly listen to an idiot. Congratulations, Boomers. We grew up in the age of INFORMATION. We do not listen to those who we know to be foolish, and we DO check. You asked for this. You paid for this. You will be forced to accept this. We are better than you because you made us to be that way. We are not the whiny generation, as this controversy proves. You are.

The Bitterness of the Aging and No-Longer-Hip

2008-06-03T17:16:00.002-05:00

CBS ran a truly horrible broadcast on the "millenials" recently. It has bothered me so much that I'm actually linking to the fark commentary, where (eventually) my comment will appear. Here it is distilled (pardon the reference to previous postings in the Fark Forums). I generally don't post to fark, but this one has me very angry.

This is a very bad piece of journalism to begin with. First off, it is based around a stereotype (in this case, "stereotype" meaning a trend that is entirely subjective).

Second, it is rooted in the bitterness of the elder generations toward a young generation that has embraced the doctrine of individuality and determination that they have espoused for the past fifty years. We were always taught not to value authority any more than it was sensibly applied (Boomer Generation, civil rights, etc) and to make our own way in life and not wait for somebody to hand it to us (the Greatest Generation and its grand industrial hopes summarized).

Third, the elder generations clearly do not understand that the younger generation faces serious problems as a result of their way of doing things. Previous posters have mentioned how screwed our country is now economically, environmentally, etc. This has created a situation where individually-minded career goals are more sensible. Only a fool is loyal to someone or something that is proven to be utterly indifferent to your wellbeing. Furthermore, the inflation and high cost of living are a direct product of factors long established and poorly managed by preceding generations. Let our generation reach the stage where we control the banks and the interest rates and then MAYBE we'll be responsible for the cost of living.

One final note, any generalizations made herein were done just to save space. The issue is complicated. If this comment is to be summarized, it is to state this much in contradiction of the moronic oversimplification we see in this broadcast.

link - Fark Commentary
link - CBS Broadcast

And one day, she didn't wake up...

2008-06-02T16:46:00.001-05:00

The laptop breathed its last today. Four years, three hard drives, two power jacks, and three power cords later, the motherboard died on me. No real data lost, except a few words on the tail end of a story edit. Nothing I can't fix up via library computers while I go shopping. Damned annoying, though. Count on a lot of twisted stories written out longhand in this period.

UPDATE: Fixed it, at least for now.

Cluster Bombs banned by Non-Users worldwide

2008-05-30T18:29:00.002-05:00

Cluster bombs now banned by several countries that don't regularly use them anyway. Congratulations.

Some of the biggest makers and users of cluster bombs cited by human rights groups -- such the United States, Russia, China and Israel -- were not involved in the talks and did not sign the accord. Organizers expressed hope that those nations would nevertheless be pressured into compliance.

What I like most is the four names listed. The US, Russia and China are three of the four largest countries on Earth (#2 is Canada). Israel is the size of New Jersey, yet it's one of the largest makers and users of cluster bombs on Earth. I always thought that in order to throw your weight around you should first have it.
I single Israel out mainly because, as you may recall, they are the ones that precipitated this issue in recent memory with their attack on Lebanon. You would think it'd be pointless to even approach the topic without their being at the table.

link

Sedlec Ossuary

2008-05-27T15:54:00.001-05:00

The Sedlec Ossuary, a cathedral deorated with bones. This link is for a 360 degree model of the central chamber.
This one is for some better shots taken from another website.

Screw going to Disneyland

2008-05-25T18:17:00.002-05:00

It's a list of odd amusement parks from around the world. Enjoy. Screw Disneyland. I'm going to Bon Bon Land!

Botanical Gardens

2008-05-24T16:35:00.003-05:00

Went the botanical gardens today. Very relaxing way to spend a Saturday afternoon. I was even relaxed enough to endure the presence of children playing and running in enclosed spaces...around cacti.

Scapegoat Award

2008-05-22T12:47:00.002-05:00

Taken from that holy pinacle of sanitized propaganda, CNN:

"The drugs were purchased online without a doctor's visit. She says that her husband had become an addict -- and that the Internet sites that sold him the drugs were his pushers.

"Absolutely," she said. "That's exactly what they are."

I remember about six or so years back I had a friend who was nursing a pretty substantial heroin habit. Then came they day she took a nice big hit (as her tolerance was appreciable) and found out it was cut heavily with PCP. I mention this because this is precisely the same. You did not know your dealer. You did not verify your source. The internet is not a drug pusher. Your husband became a junky of his own accord. Go sit down and continue watching TV. We'll tell you when next you may have an opinion.

After some deliberation I have decided not to make a social commentary out of this little act of stupidity. Please, to spare me the annoyance, in the future do not dwell on these cases. We all know in our reasoning minds the foolishness of blaming the dealer for you getting hooked. It's like blaming the salesman for your love of shopping. Remember, it's all very honest when you exercise care (caveat emptor), but if you don't it's your own damned fault.

Alright, I still ended up with commentary. Old habits die hard.

via CNN, who should be made to pay.

Human Tetris

2008-05-15T19:31:00.002-05:00

Two words I never imagined hearing together in a sentence: Human Tetris. A game show from Guess which country!

America & Music

2008-05-08T19:44:00.004-05:00

Thursday, 6 pm...walking up to the war memorial. "Fortunate Son" starts playing in my head.

Election 2008

2008-05-06T00:42:00.001-05:00

I love this. I love everything about it.

"Turn your eyes inside and dig the vacuum..."

2008-05-05T20:41:00.004-05:00

Night in ----. Can smell diesel fumes rising up all the way to a third-floor apartment in a suburban area. This town has the worst air in America, hands down. The springtime is the worst. Alchemy in the air, a mix of stale pheromones, pollen, sweat and air pollution. The effect is like a cheap drug, haze without euphoria. Goddamned city's seeming old hat and worthless. Your life can leave you in a place like this. Blink and two years go by. You barely remember. The mood's too into the working-class grind. You gotta grind to be, and that's the way to go if you're ready to let your life pass you by. I'm not, and I'm leaving first chance I get.

These aren't the times of yore. Keep reading Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and the other great road novels. You'd have to be blind to miss the change. Thompson himself wrote about it, about the death of the road man, the traveling worker, the traveling anybody really. You're encouraged to be static, rooted. That part's nothing new. But everything's a racket in this horrid new world order. You gotta find an IN somewhere, and if you find one you're probably lucky. Everything's gone to ground, every industry's either there or delusional in its supposed immunity. We're all teetering on the edge of a cliff here. In or out, everybody's heading on down. You don't die down there. The US isn't going anywhere. It just all becomes a shouting match. I'm loathed to admit that I'll probably be as much a part of it as anyone.

It's a bizarre thing to realize you can't meditate outdoors because the air's too damned polluted. This being true and most psychedelics being illegal do not belong together in the same logical framework.

My 27th birthday is the Saturday after next. The only sane route after nearly 20 years of dadaist economics is to ride the goddamned wave. Keep your body lean. Pollute your mind with chemicals if you wish, but not with television. Objectivity is only subjectivity + authority; or so says vid-eaten and restless.

Man Made his Own False Teeth from Stainless Steel

2008-05-05T11:45:00.003-05:00

This man is now one of my personal heroes.

"From stainless steel, a Wilmington, Calif., carpenter has made himself a complete set of unbreakable artificial teeth. Buying a block of the alloy, he shaped each tooth individually with the aid of a hack saw and file. Then he vulcanized them into a homemade mounting of rubber, obtaining the material from a dental-supply house and making his own mouth impressions with paraffin. For molding purposes he employed plaster of Paris in electric outlet boxes."

Courtesy of Modern Mechanix

My Machine has Developed Taste

2008-05-04T22:32:00.000-05:00

My computer has officially refused to play this DVD of Pirates of the Caribbean 3 that I got from the public library. It'll play the Maya Deren short film collection just fine. It did fine for Kurosawa. I believe, in celebration of my liberation from work and its own 4th birthday, my computer has become a snob. Good little laptop.

Brains...

2008-05-04T14:26:00.001-05:00

Point of view would require looking at the world, a bitter proposition to anybody who’s ever tried it. Hard truths. Hard addictions. All the same after a while. Your eyes blur and the mind rebels. If it isn’t, you’re probably not paying enough attention to begin with. Country’s a bitch that’ll eat your balls even if you don’t have them. Don’t know ho what’s possible. Then again, don’t know how it’s possible for an entire generation to grow up without a perceivable point of view, but that’s how it’s going. Segmented subculture fragmented to the consistency of sand. No collective drive. No point of order. No point, even. That’s probably the answer, right? No point equals no point of order. Everybody’s passed off the future as a steady progression of technology and social Darwinism. We sit at home with our computers waiting for tomorrow’s world, discontent and eating the chips and the salsa. It’s no wonder this generation has so many jokes about caffeine, squirrels, and other spastic agents; ADD is no more. It is no longer the disorder. It is the norm.

It’s far from the end of days (I hope) but still, I did grow up hoping that I’d get my crack at a good, solid Woodstock instead of this set of juvenile bickering.

In other news, I rented the third Pirates of film just to round out my viewing of the season. After my experience with watching Spiderman 3, I’m expecting this one to cause me actual physical pain.

Morning Thought

2008-05-04T09:10:00.001-05:00

Woke up this morning to six messages in gmail, all of which were spam invitations from myspace. For some reason it's depressing me more than it should. Probably just the weather. It's unseasonably cold where I am right now, and it makes getting out of bed harder than it should be. A personal shortcoming, trouble getting out of bed in the cold. I need warm weather right about now. Ever have one of those days where everything feels like it's trying to sap your strength?

Ah well, another day at war with elements.

Almacan

2008-05-02T21:27:00.001-05:00

Metamorphosis by Almacan

link courtesy of bioephemera

Id: The Video Game

2008-05-01T21:00:00.005-05:00

Susannah Breslin, esteemed writer on the controversial topics has been assaulted verbally for posting an honest analysis of the recently released GTA IV. Since it's rare for me to read anyone who does an analysis of a video game cynical enough to be right, I'm throwing the hat into the ring on this one. I normally hate block quotes, but since there's practically no end to the things I hate, what the hell?

"Because this whole moronic outcry against what is nothing but an unabashed and unashamed articulation of Man's basest impulses run amok is nothing but hypocrisy. Here's a newsflash for you. This is the way people think. This is how things are. This is the way it is."

The reason for my support is, bluntly, a hatred of weekend guidos. This game phenomenon is basically Id: the Video Game. It's a display of primal male impulses, a simplified world of drugs, guns and pussy that has no consequences and no admission fee. It's undeniably laughable. It's also fairly sad that so few people understand this. My theory is that Breslin's naysayers are the sort of people who have GTA fans in colleges, safely tucked away. They're the little snowflakes and everybody's so damned proud of what they do. They just CAN'T be thinking like that.

Trust me: they are. They're just not interested in crossing the fence. Most of them are too afraid of the consequences to even approach that part of the world anyway. That's why they're playing the game in the first place. It's a world with an OFF switch.

So please Mr. and Mrs. suburbanite, from the bottom of my heart I ask you, shut the fuck up.

----------------
Now playing: Tool - Vicarious
via FoxyTunes

No Title-Just watch it

2008-04-29T23:42:00.001-05:00

Courtesy of Ben Templesmith, via twitter

RIP Dr. Hofmann

2008-04-29T18:23:00.001-05:00

At the age of 102, the old man's gone off the bicycle, or maybe just onto a better one. Who knows But few men have left behind stranger legacies than Albert Hofmann. Happy trails, Doc. Give Tim Leary our regards.

Alchemy

2008-04-24T23:14:00.001-05:00

Experiments enter into the strange: Burroughs' & Gysin's splicing machine...Lovecraft, Newspaper, I Ching & Dr. Seuss. That's just the beginning.

Link to Non-Linear Adding Machine

Pardon me...cauldron boiling.

Another Dispatch

2008-04-24T16:39:00.000-05:00

Exhibit A)
Exhibit B)

Also Courtesy of POAC

I think he's a shoe-in. Some days you have to remind yourself that these fuckers are, in fact, very real and do still exist in this country, in large, organized numbers, with degrees and powers on their side. Merry Christmas from Satan Claus.

Daily Reminder about our government

2008-04-24T16:32:00.001-05:00

Sludge Tested as Lead-Poisoning Fix

"Scientists using federal grants spread fertilizer made from human and
industrial wastes on yards in poor, black neighborhoods to test whether
it might protect children from lead poisoning in the soil. Families
were assured the sludge was safe and were never told about any harmful
ingredients."

Courtesy of the POAC

Worms!

2008-04-24T14:01:00.002-05:00

My computer has worms. I am unhappy. I have a new hard drive and already my computer has worms.

Beg your pardon. Killing time while the deworming scans do their work.

Scribd

2008-04-21T17:00:00.001-05:00

Screwing around on Scribd. Come visit. Rate. Spread my evil.

Found my candidate

2008-04-14T17:25:00.005-05:00

At last, at long, long last I have found my candidate. You know, it was the slogan that really did it for me. Years of forced grimaces in lieu of smiles. Forced merriment. Forced hope. Me, I'm settling on force of tentacles. Years of watching anime have at least informed of of their effectiveness, or at the very least their entertainment value. And really, what is politics other than being brutally fucked nine different ways by the elongated protuberances of some malevolent shitheel standing behind a flag? At least this year, if I can't have good I want soul-crushing evil for all the citizenry.

Why?

Because I think it's funny, and in America the only difference between the news and the TV shows is the quality of the script.

Hanging Out

2008-04-10T09:25:00.002-05:00

Spring, briefly stated:

Courtesy of pavlog.

Gallery of Walls

2008-03-23T14:55:00.004-05:00

This is interesting. It's a gallery of phrases written on walls all over the world. The creativity of people at their most unguarded and hostile. That and there's a lot of dick jokes, but still, there's creativity there as well. Worth a look.

So far this one is my favorite:

link

UPDATE: Ten minutes later

No, I'm wrong, this one is.

Bum Wine

2008-02-23T16:09:00.002-05:00

Your one stop repository for all information relating to the topic of American Rotgut. Gallo wines were the bane of so many I grew up around (and by default me as well). I was pleased to discover the only listed place in my native land (New Jersey) where you can buy this swill is also where I went to college. This explains so much.

But then again, we had Everclear, which I still want a fucking explanation for.

Monday

2008-01-21T00:12:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow morning I have to wake up at the crack of dawn to walk over a mile in the subzero temperature to stand in line for approximately two hours to visit the dentist and perhaps, if I’m lucky, get a root canal right then and there. Yes. Envy me.

The thing I notice most about winter in general (and the extreme cold in particular), is how accutely aware it makes me of the fact that I am single. After years of trial and much, much error, I have finally discovered a practical use for long-term female company. There. I said it.

All the same, a comforter’s still cheaper and it’s easier to pack away when spring starts.

The Reincarnate, Issue 00, Pg. 01

2007-10-17T22:42:00.001-05:00

I'm putting the artwork to Pg. 1 of The Reincarnate, one of my comic projects, up for display sans words. Hope you like it. I'll let you all know when it's finished and someone concedes to my demands and publishes it.

What indeed...

2007-09-26T18:37:00.001-05:00

Fear the Otter

Our friends in Taiwan...

2007-07-21T19:05:00.000-05:00

How in the hell did I miss this? Glow in the dark pigs. You know...beyond that, I'm going to keep the comments short and sweet and let the fact that Taiwanese scientist have bred pigs that glow in the dark sit there all by itself.

Vatican Pit Crew

2007-07-07T16:53:00.001-05:00

Thank you, riotclitshave:

Photoshop Wednesday

2007-06-21T09:52:00.000-05:00

I was screwing around on Photoshop last night. Hope you all approve. I have recently begun using the vector function, and my creative range has expanded immensely. Apologies for the inept listing in the post. I haven't time to make things pretty today.

Crazy Fat Men

2007-06-12T15:15:00.000-05:00

I'm really starting to think that the only purpose of Youtube is to give platform to crazy fat people in middle America. It's like watching cancer cells divide and reproduce in slow motion.

Courtesy of Warren Ellis, King of the 21st Century

My eyes and ears have been defiled.

Apple, Microsoft to be Sued for Supporting Piracy

2007-05-28T10:56:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of Slashdot:

"Forbes.com informs us that the company Media Rights Technologies is suing Microsoft, Apple, Adobe, and Real Networks for not using its DRM technology and therefore 'failing to include measures to control access to copyrighted material.' The company alleges that their refusal to use MRT's X1 Recording Control technology constitutes a 'circumvention' of a copyright protection system, which is of course illegal under the Digital Millenium Copryight Act. I would say more, but without controlling access to this paragraph with MRT's products, I fear I have already risked too much ..."

First off, where did anyone get the balls to sue MICROSOFT? Don't they send you the head of your firstborn in a Ziploc bag if you even blog about it?

Scottish Comic Writers

2007-05-26T18:51:00.001-05:00

This belongs in the annals of comic book history.

Reverend Mike

2007-05-26T17:49:00.001-05:00

Partially inspired by a declaration of my good friend Jason, I'm giving serious thought to joining the Church of the SubGenius.  Why?  Because being an atheist in america is about as good for one's social life as being a transsexual child molester.  So, I'm picking up religion.  Oh thank you modern technology for furnishing me with options, dare I say it, OPTIONS for my religious leanings.  I have Buddhism, Taoism and the other ancient, non-catholic trips to go on, combined with Dischordians, Pastafarians and the Subgenii.  My coffee mug runneth over. 

Who will be my first marriage?  Who, I say who, wants to stand up proud and say, the author of "The Gallows Game" married me and hubby!  He baptized my son in Schmirnoff and gave our poodle Sparky a bris with a can opener.

The Esteemed Reverend Michael Bagen...yeah.

Africa, summarized

2007-05-17T23:59:00.000-05:00

I glibly refer to this one as "21st Century Africa, the Photo Essay"
Photo courtesy of Riotclitshave, currently my favorite Texan:

Happy Birthday

2007-05-17T23:43:00.000-05:00

May 17th, my birthday, is passed. Here but for the grace of Satan the master of all muppets and not a single sane man, go I.

Kismet is not always pleasant

2007-05-13T14:38:00.000-05:00

Strange and foul syncronicity. Sitting in a cafe (no great surprises there). Listening to the Beatles on MP3 while the house stereo is playing the same band. I'm hearing Let it Be in my headphones while the speakers above my head are playing Happiness is a Warm Gun. File it under "Who Needs Drugs"

Give Me Back My Playlist

2007-05-09T00:56:00.000-05:00

I really think I've figured it out, why people become so goddamned dull as they get older. I'm seeing my own war against it, since I turn 26 soon and slowly approaching my 30s. You reach a point when all your favorite songs remind you of someone you'd rather forget, and after a certain point, these are the only songs you'll listen to after 12:00 on a weeknight. Therefore you go to bed earlier, just to get more sleep and avoid thinking about all your ex-girlfriends.

Yes, I know...Mike's hare-brained theory for the night. Enjoy it for what it's worth.

The Clear Program

2007-04-27T21:03:00.000-05:00

Please, please let this be a hoax, or a neurocam-esque performance art piece...just remember, boys and girls. You are being monitored, and soon, you will be CLEAR. It's like Orwellian Scientology
in corporate America. I'm just wondering what sort of criteria they'll have access to in order to "update" (meaning revoke) your security clearance? The Feds need a warrant to get at half of my records if they want to revoke my passport. Are these people who supposedly "clear" passengers going to have more access to private records, like criminal records and medical records? And with millions of potential customers, how will they be able to offer assured "clear" status, other than via computerized recognition of changes in status? And do we not all remember what happens to any security system when it's automated, as this one would have to be? Heh...I can see the headlines now. If this catches on, it's going to be a riot.

Intellectual Inpropriety

2007-04-23T00:25:00.001-05:00

As a writer, I'm clearly on a given side when it comes to intellectual property. But there is one notable exception: fonts. There are fonts that are copywritten and protected against unauthorized use. This, to me, is pushing it.

Some people defend their intellectual property, I believe, because it's the only proof that they have one. That's my only explanation. If I ever feel the need to copyright a font, I'm retiring into premature senility and spending my last dimes on expensive and varied forms of bedpan.

Virginia Tech Shooting

2007-04-17T21:33:00.000-05:00

I'm not going to wax sarcastic in any way over this latest shooting, nor am I going to attempt some false sense of pity for the deaths of those I do not know at the hands of someone I also do not know. I don't care enough about political correctness to pretend that I hurt when someone I don't know dies. But there is something about this that disturbs the hell out of me.

At work, we use an AOL account. When I check the aol account, I often see their headlines and stories. These were two of the stories, figuring prominently under the heading "there were warning signs":

Link 1
Link 2

The second one disturbs me the most because it makes accessible the two "disturbed" plays written by the gunman. This bothers me on many levels, most notably that this will precipitate an even greater bleed of the horrific paranoia that now rules our high schools into the college scene. There are a lot of time bombs out there, my friends. It happens. our world is nasty, and these are Americans (he was a Korean american, if I'm not mistaken, but an American nonetheless). My point is, the Japanese kill themselves. We're Americans, and when we're pissed off enough, we kill each other. This is wrong, yes. But it is us. We're not exactly a self-destructive people. We spread it around. This is what's going down, and it's going to get so much worse.

Alright, the distillation of this rant is predictable, and I will admit to it. I've written things similar to these plays, in high school and college. If I were in school during the environment we'll see arrive after this, I'd never have gotten my degree. And this was in a school where, though I am a loyal alumni, it was known that if you complained of psychological or emotional problems to a counselor, your continuing sessions and clean bill of health were a condition for you staying in school. If you want to know why these adults, not children, ADULTS don't seek help in college, this is part of the reason.

Incidentally, one of the above-mentioned rants turned into "The Gallows Game", one of my novels AVAILABLE HERE. Sometimes it turns into money, not murder. The sad truth, the REAL TRUTH, not the PC one, not the comforting one, is that there is NOTHING THAT YOU CAN DO TO STOP THESE THINGS FROM HAPPENING. This is life. People explode. It's not good, and it's very horrible and sad when it happens. But there is no repair upon the system that will fix the problem without causing an equal to superior problem to arise. Welcome to the 21st century, a world so complex it crashes occasionally.

My best to those who were like this once, and then woke up one day, lit a cigarette and said "Who would kill 33 people and then their self when they could just go online and play Halo and make some friends?"

P.S. I fear that in this post, you will think that I am making light of this situation. I'm not. I just refuse to reduce my thoughts to buzz words and paranoia over this. I was in high school when the Columbine fiasco went down. This too shall pass.

Wabbit Stew

2007-04-14T11:47:00.001-05:00

Found this on Amazon.

While I'm well aware that rabbits are a source of meat and rather tasty, this is a beautiful how-not-to of the Amazon market community.

The pictures alone are worth the visit and the reviews are the best part.

We have hillbillies on the Internet.

Sound the alarm!

RIAA is the Worst Company in America

2007-04-13T21:58:00.001-05:00

Courtesy of the Consumerist

I am allowed to be Sentimental JUST THIS ONCE!

2007-04-02T22:45:00.000-05:00

as of noon tomorrow, my car will be no more. It was a 1990 Chevrolet Cavalier, and now it is but landfill. To any out there in possession of a thin kazoo, please ring out the retire in a thin whine in respect to the passing of my baby. She was just past her seventeenth birthday, and died of transmission trouble. It was a congenital affliction, and I am happy she held out this long.

Hereupon the streets of this city, I commit my darling to the tow truck. May General Motors smile upon her in the great beyond, for she was far more reliable than any other woman under the sun.

I loathe all sentiment, but some things have to be honored. If you disagree, remember that tools were the avenue that brought men to where he is today. A lesson from my father, that a man without respect for his tools is a man who does not respect civilization, or his role in molding it.

Gimmie

2007-04-01T00:37:00.001-05:00

The Hansen Writing Ball, one of the first and one of the most unique of all typewriters.

I promised that I'd stop doing shit like this after college

2007-03-29T20:13:00.000-05:00

Get Your Cyborg Name

Juvenile, yes, but I'm using it somehow.

Angrboda

2007-03-29T00:48:00.000-05:00

I don't know why, but this shot really gets to me. It's a model done up to represent Angrboda, a minor character in Norse Mythology. She's a frost giant, wife of Loki, and mother of the Jormungander, the Fenrir, and Hel. The look on the model's face could etch glass. I love it.

Commie Squirrels

2007-03-22T19:51:00.001-05:00

I'm no friend to the President or the Republican Party, but this disturbs me. Cruel and unfitting anthropomorphizing of a squirrel. And in other news, I was a liberal until I realized that we only have ourselves to rely on in this world, and liberalism encourages us to be socially neurotic and let bitchy women make all the decisions. It is socially-conscious living instead of logical and practical living. This is disturbing even by the status quo of basic liberalism, I think. You decide.

Why Mommy is a Democrat

Mike's lists of political rules #19: Leave the kids out of it!

Mailing List

2007-03-21T00:31:00.000-05:00

I'm starting a mailing list for anyone interested in hearing about new releases and events regarding my work. As my website is under development (bear with me. I specialize in text, not HTML), we'll have to handle the mailing list the old fashioned way. Send me email with MAILING LIST in the subject line to m.bagen@gmail.com and I'll add the address you've sent from (unless instructed otherwise. Sound good?

THREE NOVELS RELEASED

2007-03-19T00:52:00.000-05:00

Alright, here they are, available exclusively through Lulu.com. Three of my novels.

"The Red Death", previously known as "the Racket" in its unfinished and unrefined form. It's the beginning of the John Hale Mystery series, which I will continue writing on whether you people buy the book or not.

"The Gallows Game", a tale of post-modern surrealist love. This story was born under the working title of "Magdalena", for those who know me personally. Well, it's finally out.

Thirdly, "An Artist's Prayer", a bizarre fantasy novel for all ages.

The novels are available for purchase on www.lulu.com and are free to download. Enjoy them and share them with friends. I've done the obscure, unknown artist thing. It's gotten old. I want money and recognition now. Buy the books and I won't come to your house with the plunger and the economy sized tube of KY. This I command.

Idly-spat Venom at 1:25 AM

2007-03-19T00:25:00.000-05:00

Every concept ever devised by William Burroughs has a band named after it. I don't know why this bothers me as much as it does, but it gives me gastrointestinal queasiness to think that there's a band out there called "Naked Lunch"

True Things

2007-03-18T20:25:00.000-05:00

March is always the worst month to be alive in my world. Never cared for the winter, although for a time I convinced myself that the cold was my friend. But over the years, paying for new boots and new tires from the halite and eating less to pay the jacked up heating bill are enough to make a man take up arms against mother nature. I fully support global warming because I think the human race's time is up. The following things are true:

the 20th century was the American century
the 20th century has been over for six years (less than, technically, but technicalities are for those of mediocre insight).
the 21st century will be the asian century, the rise of China and (perhaps) Russia.

We have succeeded in butchering the American empire from within. All the whining about how bad it is being imperialists, about having an empire. But the truth is, and always will be: fuck or be fucked. We're sliding off the top now, and I doubt it's going to stop. The red Chinese are taking the front seat on our slow road to ruin, and their love of expansion and their indifference toward the rest of the world and environmental policy will see the end of it all.

It's times like this I seriously consider going back to cigarettes.

This is why you're supposed to kill exposed agents

2007-03-16T18:25:00.001-05:00

I'm not going to get cute about this. Valerie Plame Wilson was a spy for my country, the United States of America. Her job was espionage. So now she's hurt because SHE was betrayed. Dear, you're playing the liar's game. Don't bitch to the world that you were mistreated. She should be shot in the head for making any more noise about this. She's a SPY, people. Her job was to lie. She got ratted out for political reasons. Welcome to the world of government service. Your services will be employed in whatever way the ruling party finds most useful at the time. That's the deal, and now she's pissed because she was used to make an example. These are the people we employ to kill foreign fucking leaders! I never thought I'd say it, but I miss G. Gordon Liddy. At least he knew that he was a stooge.

If you're in Israel now...leave.

2007-01-21T22:06:00.001-05:00

Iran announces new missile tests - Focus on Iran - MSNBC.com

Like so many things, this one's brought to you by Warren Ellis.

Only in Israel

2007-01-19T15:44:00.000-05:00

And with this, I christen thee my newest tag "Only in Israel". I may never use it again but this one's worth it.

"The lawyer of an Israeli couple who won the right to use their dead son's sperm to inseminate a woman he never met says the case is a boost for family rights."

Exclusive: feedback from Hamas: "Now that's just cheating!"

Piglet at Zero Mark

2007-01-17T11:31:00.000-05:00

I am thinking of composing an entire avante garde piece made entirely out of spam emails. I got this in the mail at work:

"The piglet is not there, your Highness, said she. When he reached a point
just above the town he put the indicator to the zero mark and remained
stationary, while he examined the place"

Pure Dada wisdom, right there. A real "found art" piece...of weirdness, yes, but art nonetheless. If anyone has any idea where those bizarre bits of text attached to spam emails come from (you know, the ones that seem ripped from dime store Victorian novels), let me know. I'm dying to find out.

Bad Arab Nation. No Wiki

2007-01-02T20:15:00.001-05:00

Apparently Wikipedia has banned the entire state of Qatar for trolling. Please note...one IP address? That has to be the most ghetto thing I have ever, EVER heard.

HNY

2007-01-01T18:50:00.000-05:00

2006 was possibly the worst year of my life. 2005 marked the end of my undergraduate career. This past year has been the spiral downward, which I'm happy to report is over. I reached bottom a while back and I'm climbing up with strength and bile. I've quit smoking and I have an erection. May both of these things last forever.
--Duke Schadenfreude of Uganda

My Job Haunts Me

2006-12-16T16:38:00.001-05:00

This is a picture of the lovely singer of the band Abney Park. Cute yes? Very, and her LJ's linked, so go look. What amuses me here is the drum to the left of her, in the background. That's a large metal dumbek with a tunable synthetic head, which I spend most of my week selling. Even more horrifying, if you look very carefully you can see the logo. If I'm not mistaken, that's our manufacturing logo. Fuckin' hell.

UPDATE: Now with actual fucking link. Damned internet

Survived 99 Snake Bites. Nature Loves Round Irony and Round Numbers

2006-12-04T00:45:00.001-05:00

I said it about Steve "He's a naughty boy" Irwin, and I'll say it again here: don't fuck with mamma nature's poisonous pets. And if you do, and it kills you, don't expect it declared a tragedy. It's cause, and effect. This is why I'd never make a good vegetarian. I enjoy the death of animals too much. Take them serious, folks...even the stupid ones can kill you if you're not careful.

BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | Bite kills Malaysia 'Snake King'

Rotten TV - Episode 1

2006-11-26T20:07:00.000-05:00

John Lydon and a tank. And that's not even half of it.

I fucking hate religious people

2006-11-26T19:17:00.001-05:00

Alright, honeymoon's over. I hate you fucking religious people. Either go back to the 20th century (meaning "Die") or wake up and smell the shit you're snorting. I'm tired of you all and it's really time that you all died. Really. It's as if I can't get through a simple week without hearing another story like this:

Mercury - News - City - Suspension of Disbelief

Play it again, Sam

2006-11-26T13:56:00.000-05:00

Every living person currently has had at least one song stuck in their head in their lifetime. But have we ever paused and considered just what that phenomenon is, and what it says about us? That phenomenon is essentially a media echo still running through your head. It's a voice, usually, that you can't shut off. It just keeps repeating itself, the message already done, but still going on and on and on...

When this happens to us in any other way, we call it a flashback, an ailment of the brain caused by trauma. So that's how our brains see most of modern media: trauma. All of a sudden, my argument for "traumatize thy children" seems better and better. But hey, that's what we all do, right? Up until we start learning for ourselves, actively forcing information into ourselves, our principal means of acclimating to our environment (aka "growing up") is by becoming traumatized (aka "whipped into shape). The only real difference is that people, at one point, became much harder for life to traumatize after a certain age. In a normal adult male, for instance, it took a war, a bloody accident, or something else to truly change his programming. But now, the tools have been refined and we can, it would appear, keep people open enough for programming well into their adult years.

Hooray for marketing! Hooray for memetics! Goodbye, adulthood...you will be missed.

More on this later.

Technorati: My Public Forebrain

The Man in Full - Futurist Variant

2006-11-25T17:34:00.000-05:00

Imagine the autonomous researcher...the academic and practical specialist, the perfect in-motion professional. He's a scientist who reads his trade magazines and reports through a small, perfectly-suitable ebook screen. He receives payment through bank accounts with international ties and unity, with access at the touch of a finger either through his cellular phone or his i(insert wired product name here). He is monied, paid through direct deposit, and needs no permanent address. His mail is routed through his office and scanned by secretaries, or perhaps snail mail has been abolished completely, and he receives it as he does calls, via cell phone. Brilliance abounds in empty spaces, and he makes notes in his ibook that later will work their way into his latest academic treatises, which itself will be both bound for archives library purposes and processed into ebook format for his fellow professionals as well as the educated layman. In between books, he subsidizes his income by teaching at local universities, pulling an adjunct position here and there. There are of course permanent professors there, those who disdain his way of life, those who think him ill-tempered for real study (meaning sedentary contemplation). It is of no matter. He teaches, signs the contract, is paid, and moves on at the end of it all. He's off, and on a plane to another country. His passport is platinum grade--he is accepted as a professional of independent worth in any civilized country, and he requires no paperwork for a visa. Language files are uploaded into his ipod3000 as he sits on the plane, enduring the flight to Hong Kong, to arrive with his brain uploaded with detailed files, enabled by a combination of perfectly-honed subliminal drugs, his personal zen-in-transit sutra, and his language tapes. He now speaks Mandarin, not perfectly, but enough to begin. This is life in the new world, the post-human professor, the man in full.

ADHD is man, as a species, expressing its impatience.

Technorati: Futurism, Transhumanism

Kneel Before the Iguana God

2006-11-25T03:40:00.001-05:00

Screwing with Blogger

2006-11-25T00:46:00.001-05:00

One of these days I'm going to get this damned thing looking like I want. Should probably just switch over to Wordpress or something and get it over with. I just can't justify the time or attention (and potentially, hosting money) until more of you literate mammals are reading my brain spores.

Until then, in blogspot we trust. I'll try to get delicious and technorati on my side, so we can all be on the same page. If you read this thing at all, feel free to comment. I'm curious who's showing up here, and from where.

The Dynamite (Sea)Monkey

2006-11-24T02:50:00.000-05:00

Well, I always knew that somebody was going to do it. It was just a matter of who it'd be and what they'd call it. It's apparently called SeaMonkey, brought to us by the same geniuses that gave us Firefox.

I'm a futurist, folks, and even little things like this really make me smile.

Reasons I'm not Visiting England

2006-11-24T02:16:00.000-05:00

One of these days England is going to create a reason for me to visit. Until then, I have news like this.

"The cameras will act as an excellent deterrent for any youngsters intent on causing trouble," said Detective Superintendent Richard Wood."

"Motorists will be asked to provide fingerprint scans that are then checked against the national database of 6.5 million sets, which takes about five minutes. "

I can already hear Warren Ellis hissing on the other side of the Atlantic.

Technorati: Reasons+I'm+not+visiting+England

White City

2006-11-23T19:58:00.000-05:00

Lord of the Rings redone by Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller.

More horror....

Most horror...

My eternal thanks to Colleen Doran for these.

My Favorite Mistake

2006-11-19T21:15:00.000-05:00

My good friend Janice and I are working on a book together. It is Sunday and I'm contemplating zombie rabbits. The funny farm is boring to one such as I.

My farts cure cancer, or so the homeless tell me.

Don't Photoshop Angry

2006-11-01T20:10:00.000-05:00

I photoshop when I'm angry. It has been a long, unpleasant day. I'm an entertainer at heart, though at the moment nobody else's work is cheering me up. C'est la vie. Physician heal thyself.

an epiphany

2006-10-27T02:27:00.000-05:00

A good portion of my generation hears the "Korobeiniki" and thinks of Tetris. It haunts us in our dreams. When you think about it, it's true that nothing reveals more of a people than the games they play. What does Tetris say about the Russian mentality: "It's all very simple. It can all fit together. But it will keep coming faster and faster. Success only causes more pressure, more soul crushing tension. You cannot win. You cannot win!" (said in a thick cossack accent).

Yep, that's Russia. dasvidanya

Sodom is the best you deserve

2006-10-26T19:33:00.000-05:00

Just tooling about on my PoD publisher's website, reading the profiles of many writers while I attempt to socialize. So far I cannot form meaningful relationships, for every time I read a book's summary, it either discusses its edginess and its meaning (as it lacks any vestige of originality). Perhaps I'm being too harsh, but I doubt it. I don't know. I don't care. Probably, people say the same thing about me, to my back, of course. But my back is above my ass, and that just means they have less to move later when they have to start kissing my ass.

Write well or die in a fire, my fellow hacksters and hackstettes. Dan Brown is looking up at you from Chthulu Hell--god hates you and Satan thinks you're cute.

Preview my book...now

2006-10-25T01:22:00.000-05:00

Google books (without informing me) has made a preview of my collection on its server of copyright-questionable fun. The internet is for porn...and me, apparently.

Worship me, or at least buy my book. I'll have more out soon, when my agent is victorious. Until then, sing a song of sickness for old Mike. I don't update often, but I love you all the same.

Later, mammals.

P.S. I'm working for Sleuth Noir again, and they'll have more Bagen-made goodness soon enough. If you're not playing yet, go now. Sleuth , where murders are common, I am a moderator, and the box from hellraiser is owned by a secret squirrel.
()

Pan's Labyrinth

2006-08-13T15:32:00.000-05:00

This looks amazing.

Thanks to Suzanne G.

London Fog

2006-08-03T15:36:00.000-05:00

London Fog is up again. Enjoy. The file is about 40 megs, but it's worth the wait.

London Fog

2006-07-25T12:41:00.000-05:00

Achtung mein mammals. London Fog is finally finished. It's a big one, 24 pages of madness and intrigue. Enjoy. Fair warning, though. It's about 40 megs, and that's the smallest I could get it.
---
Update: Temporarily taken down. I'll put it back up in about a week, when I've resolved a few issues with the file.

Mysterious Ways

2006-06-25T14:09:00.000-05:00

Mysterious Ways is up. It's the third issue of the Alchemy series.

Clocker - Phantasmagoria

2006-06-20T13:02:00.000-05:00

Here's another of the one-shots that goes along with Clocker - Dead Man's Party. Something for you all to chew on this summer while I'm whoring myself to Image Comics and any other willing party. The first issue is done, but I'm trying to:

a) get it sold, or failing that
b) get a self-publisher that'll allow a respectable selling price, so that no one will have to pay out the ass for a first issue.

Phantasmagoria, or Phanny, is a recurring character in the story arc of Clocker. As you can probably tell, she's a little nutty. Just another casualty of the sane world.

Dark Matter

2006-06-20T09:47:00.000-05:00

Here's the second short comic by yours truly. Good news is that I've figured out how to compress the files and still keep them at a decent size, so it's less of a burden to keep a 5-page story on your computer. Anyway, enjoy the madness.

Clocker - Impulse

2006-06-14T14:19:00.000-05:00

For the past year or so I've been working on a comic project called "Clocker", the first issue of which will be coming out soon, likely self-published. In pursuit of real readership, I have a few one-shot stories that I have assembled to go along with it. I'm putting one of them, called "Impulse" up here. It's a big file, I know, but it's worth it. Enjoy. You'll probably see it plastered up all over NYC pretty soon.

There was a type in the old version, which has since been fixed. Thanks to my anonymous editor.

The Word Machine

2006-06-13T08:56:00.000-05:00

The VIEW database, Variations in English Words, is a 100-million word database on the usage of english words, and it is searchable. For those looking for puns, synonyms, or even more advanced students of the English Language, this will be a damned-useful tool.

The article is here.

Alamogordo (update)

2006-06-11T22:29:00.000-05:00

She's up, free and available to all.

Remember, register at the site and set your settings to mature, or you won't be able to see it. It has (sarcastic giggle) "naughty" words.

Alamogordo

2006-06-11T22:02:00.000-05:00

I just finished a short 6-page comic strip called "Alamogordo", which I am seriously considering releasing as a free read online. Problem 1: I have no bandwidth on the geo-shitty site, so no help there. Problem 2: Blogger is being a pain in my already sore ass, so no luck there (at least today).

I'll figure something out. It's a good little story, fun and freaky.

The Postmodern Language

2006-06-10T12:10:00.000-05:00

I am 25. Five years ago I was dating an IT specialist named Janice. Nice gal, actually. This is her. But the thing I always remember most about those days is how she used the English Language. I had never before and have not since heard code referred to as "sexy". Whenever I think of computer code, to this day, I ask myself if I'd do it for the price of a pack of Malboros. Memetics incarnate, that girl.

Anyway...dog just walked by. I named it "Patty Melt". Whenever I see a dog I wonder what kind of sandwich I could make out of it, and what it would taste like. There is, I fear, something deeply wrong with me.

Back to the Postmodern Language. Five years ago I never would've guessed that HTML and its relatives in the online world would become the languages of the age. But they have. I just spent an hour and a half wrestling with Technorati trying to get my damned profile picture on this site. I think within the next five years it'll be utterly necessary for all high school graduates to know HTML to properly communicate in the new global world...which of course means it'll become compulsory in American schools somewhere around 2110.

Boredom truly is inexcusable.

Transhumanism and the Roads of Rome

2006-05-31T04:22:00.000-05:00

Transhumanism is defined as any movement aimed at the posthuman goal, the establishment of an evolved paridigm of human individualism and/or civilization. This broad topic touches many, many different pools of knowledge, ranging from cybernetics and cryogenics to psychodelics, pop psychology, and architecture. In respect specifically to these last two categories, psychology and architecture, I have been analyzing an observation set that recently came to my attention, ironically enough in a Warren Ellis comic called "Desolation Jones". I have no shame in accepting inspiration from comic books, and for two reasons. First, any sufficiently founded idea is to be judged on its own merit, as they very often find their roots in the same source data that are the basis of scholarly articles. Secondly, and just as important, because popular culture (in this case not limited to the most consumer-friendly cultural staples) does define us in many ways. This element of transhumanism, specifically the elements relating to psychology and evolution, is referred to as memetics. Packets of evolution, in essence, ideas, mind viruses, contagious thoughts. If a thought is contagious and furthermore holds some logical significance, it should not be ignored, because the machine of popular culture is as capable of creating and testing an argument/premise as it is creating the loads of bullshit that we find so lovely to watch on cable TV.

Transhumanism and transient migration is what brings me here today at 5:25 in the morning. It has been theorized, and not without basis, that we are moving towards a cultural system defined more by flux, by motion and fluid dynamics than by hard and fast base-oriented communities. This is a function, in part, of urbanization. A city is not a small town. A small town has small houses, perfect for families to grow, alienated from those surrounding them by the space, like little worlds unto themselves. In cities, this is different. In cities, the urban sprawl facilitates a village scenario that focues on the extra-familial system of socialization. Our communities are what define us, because unlike small towns, where yes the community CAN define, in cities, you canno escape it. In small town, suburban America, people can and do live in their own simple worlds, running off of a system of routines. These routines are defined by the tasks required for the satisfactory maintenance of the lifestyle (usually a consumer-based socio-economic property system). In societies of cities, you wear your status. Your skills are far more important. You are condensed and in constant competitition.

This dynamic is what will eventually replace the current suburban dominance. Why? Because population, ever increasing, makes it so. As I write this, I reside in New Jersey, the most populous state in the union, per square mile. We are built out of small towns and medium-sized cities, connected primarily by street traffic. This is fundamentally bad for a growing society, especially one such as New Jersey. Case in point: Los Angeles, a city that grew from several small cities into one extremely dense one, but did nto modify itself for mobile existence, as New York did. The result is nearly every major problem the city has, from traffic, to pollution, to much of its alienation and criminalization. Compton and Hollywood are under the same charter, but functionally they are on two different planets. This is the final phase of the town structure.

Transhumanism in transience is a discussion of the ways we can and must adapt to this, forgoing many of the trappings of landed existence in favor of a more fluid plan. We are already on our way, with the popularity of cellular phones, laptop computers, the obligatory bluetooth and wireless communication technology, and a thousand other tools to make such a lifestyle possible. However, we address these things as perks, amenities, not steps in a much larger, much more significant chain of events. Live without a home. Live in hotels, hostels, home bases. Forgo your worldly possessions, not as an aesthetic step, but because for most professionals they are unnecessary. I am a writer. My world is right here. Yes, I had a lot of books, which I recently donated to a library. And you know what, if I still want to read them, or need them to research, somone is watching over them for me. The only tradeoff is that I have to share. I'll manage.

Next: work. If you have a job, contract-work is always best. Mys mobility, often most money, and most credit for your skills. Even a more lasting employment situation is not permanent, and while you are there, get only as comfortable as you need to be. Remaining fluid helps you sit outside the rut. You see, when you live without the home base, you see things in a different light. The city becomes a system of landmarks, not routes. You see things, to use mathematical terms, as points, not line segments. This difference in emphasis makes you more aware, because YOU have to connect the dots actively in an ever-shifting paradigm, as opposed to running on a dumbing autopilot system.

Third, and most noteworthy, are the basics of life. PO boxes solve the mail problem, for the brief time that we'll still use snail mail (as we all know how unreliable it is, deep down). Storage--lockers and storage space, for clothes and whatnot. We need them back. Terrorism and the DHS fucked us with this one. But we'll get them back, and then, back to evolving. Most notably, of course, are the problems in personal hygiene. I believe as this lifestyle moves on, the attention paid to providing these services to more travelers, and not just those who can pay motel fees (which are high, and the accessibility issues with needing to drive to them nearly negate their advantage), will rectify the showering and laundering issue that any good hotel-dweller doesn't worry about.

The advantages are legion. A vast socialization, based on non-familial ties, wider networks, integrating the internet, defying convential space...this is the future. The effects this has on the human animal, helping us move beyond the pack mentality of the small town, moving towards individualism and de facto humanistic excellence, is perhaps one of the most substantial opportunities available to the human race in the next century.

--Written from the driver's seat of a Chevy Cavalier, proving that inspiration and thought do not require a house and a writing desk.

Loneliness

2006-05-17T23:30:00.000-05:00

One of the few things I'm generally fortunate in is that I don't get lonely. I used to, much like most other people. But after a few really bad relationships and a lot of introspection, I've more or less cured myself of it, at least as a state of mind. I still get lonely on occasion, usually revolving around something that I already find depressing.

Today (or rather, yesterday) was my birthday, the 17th of May. I was sick. This bothers me more than I can put into words, as I am already depressed on my birthdays. The last thing I needed was to be further isolated by illness. These things conspired to remind me what loneliness feels like. I deeply resent this. I don't like feeling lonely. I don't like missing people. I have enough problems without the further distraction of romantic entanglements.

With any luck, sleep will cure both of these maladies, the one in my lungs and the one in my mind. Here upon this futon I cross my fingers and hope for a less depressing state of affairs tomorrow. For the record, you the reader have no idea how self-conscious I get when I'm this misanthropic. Thanks for sticking with me. Wish me good health on my birthday. I have a lot of needs lately, but this is the one that'd be most immediately beneficial. I have shit to do.

Mid-Afternoon

2006-05-06T16:29:00.000-05:00

Roadkill suns stare down from the steps of churches in the downtown barrier street, watching for petty marks and idealistic youth, mindless of the superficial twinge of enlightened self-laothing that dances across their eyes. Foul slabs of decay and addiction drive by in their SUVs, midnless of eveyrhting but their dicks and paychecks. Life proceeds, forever on pause, never moving forward. Two girls sun themselves in the afternoon breeze, mindless of the dangers always hiding behind the translucent walls of these treets. This city is a dead thing, an artifice of false-life held up by the constant infusion of youthful idealism. But cold reality reigns supreme and darkness is always a few hours away. Then, the barking of the junkies lies alongside the chirping of cicadas. The days are nights in waiting.

Journalism

2006-04-23T20:18:00.000-05:00

Journalism, as I've stated in the past, is the art of wounding. It's an offensive thing, a direct and hostile thing in many ways. You are telling a person living in the present world that they do not know what is going on around them and furthermore, must. This is often most important in cases where the person does not want to even hear about what's going on around them. This is the craft.

I've recently applied for a job at the Village Voice. I want it, badly. I will live out of my car if necessary to work at the Voice. I want to work for a real paper, one that is concerned genuinely with the state of the country. Who knows? Maybe the guy that I applied to is reading this thing. If so: Ward, hire me! You won't be disappointed. If not, people, hope for me. I need to get the ground of reportage under my feet, the beat of the war drums that thunders in my ears every time I smell a story. I am in a journalistic mood again, and there's no place I'd rather work than New York.

Why? Yes, I know, everyone wants New York. But I don't want it because it's prestigious. I want it because it's a pit and always will be. It's the nature of the city, and the nature of people. When we're compressed, we get nastier. I like places where the viciousness of mankind comes out. It's more honest and you see things clearer. And the Village Voice is the last newspaper in the area that I have any true faith in.

I will sell your children to black market Chinese women in order to get a real job after all the shit I've been through these past six months.

Blowing off Steam

2006-04-12T13:58:00.000-05:00

Steam is what happens when water hits heat. The body is 2/3 water. The heat is a massive heap of bills and debts. Unfortunately, when it's all under pressure, it doesn't vent, it explodes. I'm trying to keep from exploding. Explosion would be bad right now, so I'm blowing off steam however I can.

Have you ever had one of those times in your life where nothing seems to work? When you make a deal, it goes sour, when you get a job, circumstances get you fired or force you to quit? This is how the last two years have been for me. I never should've moved back to New Jersey. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just weak...or just stubborn.

Maybe weak, maybe stubborn...but the number I keep calling about a job still won't pick up. The contact refuses to answer his phone. I have difficulty blaming myself for this.

To my few readers, sorry that this is becoming a rant board for an unemployed idiot. I'm losing my fucking patience, though. I do whatever I can and still I get fucked. I am cursed and working around this is taking more time and effort than I fear I have. But it's what I have to do, nonetheless, so here I go, again and again, smacking my head against the anger and the frustration, hoping for a better tomorrow.